image by mandiejoy photography
I browse Pinterest in the evenings, when the house is settling and my mind is quiet enough to dream again. This season brings so many celebrations for our family, from birthdays to simple autumn dinners; tailgating to Thanksgiving prep. I want to do it all. I want to throw the kind of birthday party for my daughter that inspires people. I want to decorate my home like a scene from Better Homes & Gardens, with a fabulous front porch full of pumpkins and haybales. I want people to come to our house for dinner and delight in the food, the decor, the scents.
In the warm glow of the computer screen I start to believe that I’m required - expected - to provide this magazine-perfected experience for my friends and family. That somehow, my daughter won’t have a great birthday if mommy doesn’t find a theme that delights both children and adults.
Football games will be uninteresting and uninspired if I don’t find food to satisfy the guys - that also travels well, taste perfect warm or cold, be appropriate for boys who love spicy food and kids who don’t. Oh and it should all look beautiful enough to Instagram.
And now I’ve just successfully set myself up for failure.
God has put something on my heart recently that has been changing how I’m approaching some of these hectic seasons in life. When I start to put too much pressure on myself to be someone I’m not, to do things that just aren’t necessary, God reminds me to “let it go.”
Let go of the expectation to offer a Pinterest-perfect party. Let go of the lie that doing more, decorating more, spending more, or creating more are at all required. Let go of the lie that everything will fail if I don’t find a way to be all things for all people, all the time.
The truth is that none of our gatherings - whether a birthday party or Thanksgiving - will be perfect. There will be stress. It’s likely that my daughter will probably have an ear infection, because that’s just how we do things. The perfect menu we choose from Pinterest will either look fantastic but taste awful, or look awful and taste great. And my house is more likely to be decorated with dust bunnies than seasonal decor.
I’m letting it go.
Open to inspiration, creativity, and ideas but dropping the self-imposed need to do it all. I’m not going to stop looking at Pinterest or browsing my favorite blogs for ideas. I’m not going to unsubscribe and become “anti-internet” because I love the community I’ve found. I love knowing that there are incredibly creative, talented women out there who are using the gifts God gave them.
I’m opening my hand and letting go of the expectation that I have to be one of those women, so I can offer an open hand to my family. To cheer, to support, to hug, to hold. To use my own gifts to make our celebrations special. Whatever it looks like - I want my hands empty of the expectations to perform so that I can embrace the beautiful - if imperfect - life that God has given me, in this season of celebration.
14 Comments
I’ve been working on letting go for awhile now. There is so much freedom in it. I still want to do my best, but only MY best. I can’t exercise the gifts of someone else anymore than they can exercise mine.
Great post!
Yes! I love this comment so much - let’s do what we do well, in our strengths, by the grace of God, and not try to be “her”
Beautifully said, Crystal! Thank you for helping us all to let it go!
Thanks Joanne! So fun to see you here today
That was so well said…. I love the letting go of others expectations and our own unrealistic expectations and doing what comes naturally out of our own God given creativity….even if that means being hospitable with welcome joy as peopl enter the door even if the itroning is still sitting on the couch and the linen cupboard is emptied all over the floor…that people can feel the peace and welcome in the midst of seeming chaos….keep being a blessing…in whatever form that takes….
Oh amen…and girl…ahem, we don’t have piles of ironing because ironing is not one of my skills
I’ve actually found that when we host a celebration, leaving the little things unfinished is actually a really wonderful way to involve our guests. Everyone wants to help, or pitch in, or DO something….so now we skip setting the table, or slicing the bread, or … whatever…so that our guests can join in 
Crystal,
This is a wonderful post! So many times these types of posts seem to condemn creativity and party planning when the truth is there ARE people who love it- and it is their gift to throw a gorgeous party. I love what you had to say, because the emphasis should be on being who WE are- not someone else!!
Community is beautiful when we can celebrate the gifts of others and not feel this need to compare or compete.
Keep doing what you do best, friend! You inspire- not by being something you aren’t, but by being honest and being YOU!
Love,
Becky
I love that you picked up on my heart for this - that it wasn’t to jump on the “everyone hate Pinterest” bandwagon but to focus on what we do best, and to do it well! Because I have my own “Pinterest” moments…like yesterday, when I decided to paint a mini pumpkin silver & cover it in pink glitter. With a toddler. (who does that?)…also…I love how it turned out
Big high five for giving us permission to let it go! Thank you for this post.
Big high five right back Darlene!
As a wedding pianist, I ran into this a lot with brides. Really, it’s never prefect, and that’s what gives us something to remember.
Especially the flower girl that wet herself.
Oh goodness! I do have to say that more interesting stories and fun memories come out of the imperfect moments than the ones that go exactly as planned
I want my hands empty of the expectations to perform so that I can embrace the beautiful – if imperfect – life that God has given me, in this season of celebration.
Oh, yes, (and in my heart I hugs you!)
I hug you right back, my friend