“Pleasant words are
a honeycomb:
sweet to the taste and health
to the body.”
- Proverbs 16:24

Put it down.

No.

Don’t drop that.

Be careful.

Come here, now.

We do NOT…

Don’t touch that.

Stop moving.

Stand still.

When you have a toddler running around your house, the words that frequently come out of your mouth are a symphony of negativity and commands. Quick responses to keep little hands from harm sound sharp and requests to move more quickly along to the next activity are frustratingly ignored in the hopes of “2 more minutes, Mommy?” I know how important kind words are to building up the hearts and souls of the women I meet online. I understand in the deepest parts of myself what a difference it makes when someone corrects me with love. I’ve seen the difference grace can make when poured gently over a challenging situation. And yet, when it comes to my family? They don’t always get the best of what I have to offer, or even a glimpse of what I’ve learned.

As mamas, we will say “no” and we will say it a lot. For good reasons, too. But I distinctly remember sitting with my husband in a Bible study on parenting and hearing the authors talk about the importance of saving those direct, pointed commands for moments of safety or urgency. Instead of having our little girl grow up immune to a constant stream of negative commands, they suggested that we come up with new, more positive phrases to encourage her to do what we were asking, so that when we did use “no” she would respond immediately.

It’s not the easy choice. “No” is so much easier to turn to when this mama is weary. But when I slow down and pray over this Proverb, the one that serves as a constant reminder during my job, God gently reminds me that the blessing of pleasant words isn’t just for me to receive. Yes, choosing kindness and gentleness will always benefit my own heart-health. But even more importantly, they will heal and sooth the most sensitive parts of those who receive my words. Including my family. And while God is asking me to use the leftover moments for myself, He’s desiring that I make sure that my family is being fed from the fullness of the kindness I have to offer those around me. It’s a “no leftovers” zone.

So, in the same way that I work hard to choose meals that bring good health and energy to my little girl, God is asking me to offer her a healthy diet of pleasant words to build her up, discipline, and instruct. I feel deep in my heart the desire to do the hard work of teaching her to take that deep breath and respond in grace when life is frustratingly unfair. I want so badly to overhear her mothering her baby dolls in words of encouragement instead of harshness. And so I’ll pray for wisdom to rephrase, save the negative and urgent tones for true emergencies, and ask God to help me teach my little girl how to strengthen souls with kind words.