When Your Mess Models Transformation

When my son walked into the room, I knew it wasn’t good. His eyes were wet and voice quivering. I hadn’t heard any ruckus before he showed up, so I was pretty sure it couldn’t be all that bad. In a whisper, he confessed that the crockpot slipped through his hands while he was washing it and cracked into two pieces in the sink. The boy was scared I might lose it, as I suspect any ten year old might feel after breaking their mom’s favorite kitchen tool.

But by the grace, it wasn’t even hard to keep my composure as I drew him in close for a reassuring hug. I thanked him for being honest, appreciating the fact that he had taken on the task on without a fuss. We decided we’d check out Amazon for a replacement, and the sound of our laughter over this “one more broken thing” in a long list of broken things in our house over the last few weeks brought the girls in to see what was going on. It was my oldest daughter’s response that turned the from silly to sacred.

Mom, I didn’t even know something broke . . .

Can you read between the lines of that statement? See, my daughter didn’t know something was broken because I didn’t pitch a fit, holler, or berate my precious boy. There was no scene happening in my home, like the ones that took place all too often when my older girls were little. There was, however, definitely something worth drawing attention too . . .

The miracle of transformation.

My older daughters remember when, whereas the twins have hardly a memory of the old me. And yet, because of the honest stories we’ve shared about life back than compared to now, even my boy knew what happened.

That’s because God changed her.

Yes, my friend, God changed me from the inside out, deactivating the ticking time bomb that used to be housed with in my heart. In the past, it would take only a minor incident, like something breaking, to set me off. That’s because of the years of guilt, shame, bitterness, and unforgiveness buried under the surface of my life — those wounds have been emptied at the cross and no longer have power to undermine the life I desire to live.

Is it time for your to empty your heart before the Lord, too?

I thought when God created the new me at the point of my salvation in my twenties, that meant the old me was just pushed out of site and out of mind. It wasn’t until my early thirties that I discovered those memories and beliefs didn’t need to be ignored but rather handed over to the One made to carry them best of all.

God wants all of us. He wants our past and our mess so that He can redeem it into something beautiful.

Our Father in Heaven is not a bully. He’s not going to forces us to give our filled-up, hardened hearts to Him. He won’t take it all from us without permission.

God was waiting on my fully surrendered heart, which was a process I share about in Meet the New You. See, giving God all of my heart and yielding all of my core beliefs to Him opened the door to transformation, as I discovered how to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ and be transformed by the renewing of my mind (2 Corinthians 10:5, Romans 12:2). This is what I call the Trap & Transform principle, and it’s one I live by every single day.

It’s a lifestyle of transformation God longs for us to embrace.

He wants to take those habits we hate, like loosing it over a broken whatever, and give us a new way of responding. That’s a two step process, really. First, it’s a matter of dealing with the ticking time bomb inside, and for me, that process involved Christian counseling. And second, to move forward intentional about our habits by striving to line them up with a Biblical perspective.

See, I didn’t lose it over the crockpot breaking because the time-bomb is deactivated and in the moment, I heeded the prompting of the Holy Spirit, recognizing that a child of God is way more important than a ceramic cooking device. I wish I was always so submitted to the Lord’s prompting. Just a week later, my youngest daughter accidentally broke the ear off the donkey of my beloved Nativity. Yes, I hollered loud, thankfully without saying anything awful. I was tired, hungry, and weary with the burden of my aunt’s passing. And yet, God’s grace was right there working in me in another miracle. Instead of letting pride steal the day, I responded to my husband’s “motivational” eyes and went up to my daughter. We snuggled as she apologized and I forgave her, and I apologized for losing it and she forgave me. Then we had a little conversation about why obedience is important — see I had asked her once not to play with it but just move it to the bookcase. Of course, I wish I wouldn’t have lost my cool in the first place, but I’m grateful that God redeemed the situation through providing an opportunity to model humility and forgiveness for my girl.

God does not expect us to model perfection but rather transformation.

He knows were a hot mess, prone to sin in our flesh. And because of that He extends His grace and forgiveness. Will we accept it, and the promise of redemption Jesus secured for us on the cross?

Sweet friend, God is eager to take our mess and transform it into a beautiful testimony. And in the process, He’ll use our lives to reveal to our children a side of Himself they desperately need to know and the hope of transformation they’ll need as well.

What would it take for you to walk out honest transformation before your children? How could they benefit from witnessing the ways God has changed you from the inside out?

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