“I can’t believe you are going to waste your intelligence just to stay home with your kid.”

It was said to my face. And it left me speechless, which those closest to me will be sure to tell you is rare.

In the speaker’s defense, she was just like me. A lover of education. Someone who was most content with a straight A bearing every intention of getting “Dr” in front of her name. I liked sitting next to her because we were equally ambitious in our desire to learn and solve problematic situations. We were on a mission to change the world.

Despite our similar end goals, we were also in different seasons of life. She was a true undergraduate whereas I’d graduated college, married, completed my masters degree in medical ethics, and returned for the final few courses I still needed for medical school application. I was also sucking down water and praising God for dissolvable zofran because my husband and I were finally going to be parents after painful years of waiting. She couldn’t yet know how life experienced outside of the college bubble impressions a person.

Soon after that course, Grace was born. I believe this happens for all women – those working outside the home and those who are not – but it was as though God pulled off the blinders of who I thought I was to reveal to me exactly who He made me to be. Children have a way of driving us to pray more about our life, our leadership, our choices. And, if ever I have heard God speak to me, it was when my MCAT results arrived in the mail. Before I even opened them I knew success or fail I was not to go.

I became a homemaker – a role I never thought I would fill - and I thrived in new ways. I started to cook more, network more, play more, dream more, write more, and reproduce more. Two more girls would be born and, to my surprise, God would also birth through my keystrokes two books for publication. I felt as though God unwrapped facets of myself previously hidden. Right work looked different and the education lover in me found its most comfortable home nurturing my children’s education while rocking the PTA.

And I learned never to limit God. And I knew His ways were better than my ways. And what life had previously taught me about my identity was reinforced.

Identity does not come in a paycheck. It is not found in any earthly title. It is not manifest in the makeup of our day. Those are all surface things to the heart which feels God’s love and says, “My identity comes in being Yours alone.”

Moms, despite the heated debates of our society, there is no right or wrong when it comes to work outside the home. One is not better than the other. The only right is found in the posture of your heart. If you’ve let go of who you think you should be and fallen into who He claims you are you will find value the world cannot fulfill. We are not made worthy because of what we do. We are worthy because of Whose we are. And, He gives us all a unique makeup that He continues to expose to us if we are open to listening , taking the burden off the “stuff” and placing joy in the mere gift of being. And then in that joy, He shows us how to use our unique gifts in our homes, friendships, every day interactions, volunteering opportunities, and the work force to be not only incredible moms but mountain-moving people.

Hear me: if you are answering God’s personal call over your personal life {and this takes a constant abiding because it may very well change in different seasons of one’s own life} you are doing EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED TO BE DOING for you, for your kids, and for the Kingdom.

Today that young lady is out of the college bubble working as a doctor, and I applaud her. I am having picnics on miniature plastic Step 2 tables and chasing writing dreams while my girls sleep. And we are both still changing the world just as we set out to do.