This hasn’t been the best summer on record for my girl and me. In fact, it’s been just plain hard most of the time. We’re a lot alike … and we’re a lot different. And somehow, the likenesses and the differences have not made our relationship easy. I’m tired of the constant friction which has taken up residence in our home these past few months. I’m weary from saying, “It isn’t just what you say, it’s how you say it.”

I hear myself telling my girl {again} to pick up her laundry or straighten her bathroom. Oddly though, the voice sounds more like my mom’s. I feel the need more often than not to call my parents and tell them I’m sorry for being a teenage girl in their home, to apologize for the exhaustion I must have caused. I’ve even mentioned to my parents this new appreciation I have for their patience and grace. {For the record, they laughed at me.}

So, I suppose I’m looking forward to school starting. I’m stretched thin and ever so aware of my own weaknesses as a mom. I’m hoping my girl will enjoy her classes this year, even Art 2 which was her last choice for an elective. And, really, I’m hoping that somehow I’ll look back on this summer and see something besides too much activity and not enough grace — for my girl or for myself.

As we look ahead to this new school year, I wonder how many of you can relate? Maybe your summer didn’t exactly turn out as you had dreamed?

It is easy to bemoan what we didn’t do, what we should have done, what went wrong, and where we’ve failed. We’re moms — we’ve got that soundtrack playing almost constantly. But what if we chose a different approach? What if we looked at where we’re headed? What if instead of looking back, we look forward and focus on the lessons that really matter? Sound good?

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Here’s my “lesson plan” for the next several weeks.

Lesson 1: Grace is the best gift we give — to our girls and ourselves.

I’m choosing to see less of the mistakes and more of the masterpiece. My girl is an amazing person and sometimes I forget to notice because I am so busy trying to teach her to be responsible and respectful {which are great traits!} … but somehow I lose sight of way she creates beauty and loves others.

Lesson 2: Slowing everything isn’t always possible but breathing slowly is.

Life moves fast around here. And we’re headed into football season with two games a week along with show choir programs and pre-algebra {hold me!} … and we’ll barely blink before basketball season has started with games three or four nights a week and Christmas planning and … the list goes on. I can’t slow life down the way I’d like. But I can slow down on the inside. I can take long, deep breaths and set the alarm on my phone for 15 minutes of stillness.

Lesson 3: Prayer covers more ground than lectures ever can.

Instead of rattling off my list of “should dos” and “why didn’t yous” {to her and to me}, I’m taking those thoughts to Lord, asking Him to clarify what matters and what doesn’t. I think one of the biggest obstacles for many of us in parenting is our lack of objectivity. We cannot always see the big picture because the chaos of the moment is overwhelming. We need to realize trustingthe Lord with our fears and doubts, our desires and dreams, is safe … and He promises us wisdom if only we will ask {James 1:5}.

This parenting thing is hard work. And I can’t — can. not. — do it in my own strength. My heart’s desire is to parent from the overflow of God’s work in my life. So I’m laying down myself and trusting in Him.

Join me?

Teri Lynne

What is your parenting “lesson plan” for this season with your girl?