Her: “Mommy, help me! I can’t do it!”
Me: {HEAVY SIGH.} “Yes, you CAN. You are SEVEN. YEARS. OLD!”
Her: {sad eyes. whining.} “Please!?”
Me: “FINE. But you are NOT a baby! I’m tired of you not trying hard and not doing your best! You always quit and whine and give up!”
…
Me: {HEAVY SIGH.} “I’m sorry, baby.”
Her: “It’s okay, Mommy.”
How many times? How many times, I ask myself, will I have to learn this lesson? Over and over and OVER again, I criticize and judge and withhold basic kindness in an effort to make a point and teach a lesson. With my daughter. With my husband. In my head with so many who dare let me down.
Yet, when I make a mistake? When I do that thing I promised not to, when I don’t do the other thing I vowed I would? When I snap or yell or ignore or lash out? When I break or drop or tear or hurt?
I expect grace. Forgiveness. Kindness. Fully and immediately. I expect grace - even though I’m so reluctant to give grace.
My daughter, though - she’s like her father, quick to forgive, full of grace. She teaches me much - and often.
…
I wasn’t sure I was going to choose a word for 2015. I chose one last year. Rather than a list of resolutions (which I love making but am terrible at meeting), I chose one word to focus on through the year. My word for 2014 was “rewrite,” and wow! Rewrite is exactly what God did to so many parts of my life last year.
But this year? I didn’t know how I could possibly choose one word for an entire year. As last year began and I prepared to have our second baby girl, I knew I had no idea what was coming. I knew all the ways in which my life was up in the air. But this year? I’m pretty sure I don’t know what I don’t know about the coming twelve months.
Tonight, though, as I refused my daughter the grace she needed, the same grace I needed a moment later when I realized what I’d done, again, I realized my word was right there in front of me.
Then I laughed, because as I sat down to write through this lesson, I noticed my to-do list - and the two different blogs I have written on it, blogs I hope to submit guest posts to, blogs with the word “grace” in their titles.
Oh, there it is.
Over the past few years God has been teaching me much about grace, but I have much left to learn. So this year, I will learn from my daughter. I will learn and I will pray that the lesson - and the grace - sticks this time.
Did you choose One Word for this year? What lessons do you learn from your daughters?
11 Comments
I chose my first ever word of the year. Like you, it was right in front of me. I, however, was resistant because it feels so contrary to me. I can’t wait to see how God uses the word + verse. I’m sure I’ll be utterly amazed…and somehow it will empower my girls in the process. I shared both here http://www.melissanesdahl.blogspot.com/2015/01/my-2015-word-of-year.html
I love it, Melissa! And YES, this will absolutely make a difference in your girls’ lives just as it changes and moves you!
My word is JOY. My kids teach me so much about this. I hope it’s contagious this year.
I’m pretty sure this will be my word next year but God is already doing a big work in my heart with it now. I am excited to see what joy He brings you, too!!
Hope your word has the results you’re hoping for. Just remember, we’re parents, we’re not perfect. Fortunately, children are very forgiving of our shortcomings and mistakes - as long as they know we love them.
I’ve never really heard of the word of the year thing, but if I had to choose one, it would be sleep or rest - as in get more of. Life is a whole lot easier when you’re not exhausted all the time.
Yes, my daughter is SO forgiving!! And I will certainly never be a perfect mom (or perfect anything), but my hope is to share the grace that He and so many (including my daughter) give me every day. As for more sleep - YES. So much YES!
Oh Mary, I wish you all the Grace you can muster and take in! What an awesome word! Good for you.
My daughters are grown and I tell you on Mother’s Day I gift them a gift now, because they raised me as much as I raised them. Well I had my first one when I was 20 (going on 12 in so many other ways) and my next child when I was 25 and then I went instantly into therapy. No joke! I remember distinctly looking over the side of the crib at this second child who was a power house and a half and saying “God what am I going to do with a kid who is stronger than me?” Well, I was gonna learn that’s what! And the older one? well, she turned out to be older and wiser than me too. At four for that one… LOL!
My word this year is PREPARE… because God has a lot in store for me this year… it feels like looking at the six month old baby all over again. Scary awesome!
Be Well Mary!
Lina
Oooooh, I like PREPARE! I love that you already know your 2015 is going to be full of God’s goodness!
My word for this year is Fearless. And YES! My girls teach me about fearlessness all the time! Especially my older daughter. I grew up with so much self-hatred and insecurity. When I had a girl, as a young mom I didn’t know how to pray or even that it would work. But it did and I see that prayer answered daily! She is the MOST confident, self-assured young lady and at 12 years old doesn’t see the need or have the desire to conform. She has a great attitude when it comes to personal style and trying new things. She doesn’t let the opinions of others affect her and it is AMAZING to me! She isn’t afraid to love or forgive and I desperately want to be more like her! I’m so thankful for answered prayer and also a daily reminder living in my home that highlight some of the areas I need to work on!
Nicolette, that’s awesome. Your daughter sounds fantastic - like she’s already learned courage and bravery from you! Can’t wait to hear how God moves in your fearless life this year!
My word was Grace three years ago. I learned so much about it, and I especially love that it was at the forefront of my mind so often. The next year my word was Love-I needed to show much more of that. Last year I didn’t pick a word, but I kept wishing I had. This year my word is Pursue. I’m not sure why (although I have an inkling), but I’m excited to see what God has in store.
Love this post, Mary, and your always-honesty.