We live life to it’s fullest every day in this family. Some days are bright and shining and others are gray and dull. And then there are the fire storm days, when our un-loveliness is a harsh break in the normal spin of our faith and our family.
And when you are raising sweet girls and young ladies, your spirit is checked every day with knowing they will grow up to govern the atmosphere in their homes one day and your reactions are their future.
When someone is angry with your rules or frustrated with their responsibilities, and your words are the button that unleashes their tired response, it is easy to react.
It takes an abundance of grace to love the unlovely.
There is beauty on the other side of conflict when we show “undeserved love” to behavior or actions that are ugly and unlovely.
My girls and I have daily moments of ugliness that seem to peak and then valley in rotation. Because, with seven girls, when one might be having a good day, another may be in the middle of a rotten one. Add my own mess to the mix and stir the pot of communication and relationships… and well, that’s a whole lot of emotion going on.
My girls and I have witnessed the derailing of generational love. When a mother figure in our generational line has chosen a path of ugly choices, a lack of grace and an attitude of isolation. It has hurt and destroyed many things.
Do you want to pass on loveliness and grace to your next generation?
My heart beats so strong for this. I live and love in a home with a lot of emotion and it would be so very easy for one of us to react indifferently. Because it is the easy way. To walk away from conflict when you think you are right, or do not deserve this.
But, God showed Himself love that we might be love to those around us.
Sometimes, the angry simmer continues around here longer than I would care for. I pray for my girls as they learn to communicate with one another, learn to live with one another and with me.
I tell them on repeat, ‘Your reactions are just as important as your actions.”
Raising daughters who love the unlovely is one of my greatest challenges. Not only for them to know how to love those that hurt them, but for me to move past this behavior to a place where we laugh and smile and are friends once again.
We never lose something that our heart hasn’t let go. Using these moments of unlovely behavior for correction, grace in refinement, the peeling away of our own pride and watching consequences change the heart are at center of it all.
Remind yourself and your children that our actions and attitudes towards one another can dictate the future.
How we react to other people. How we respond to one another when we are older and more set in our ways. How we love is how we live. Everywhere.
Even when unloveliness is in our face we can choose our reaction.
Hold onto your family bond of love. Do not let anger, arguments, ugly behavior or bad choices come between those that you love.
Raising daughters to love the unlovely gives them an appreciation for those that give grace to their mess when it shows up some day.
Raising daughters to be lovely, inside and out , is a challenge and an investment that will reap a harvest for the generations to come.
And it will.
Gather grace daily with your girls, so you may have it in abundance when you need it.