There are two black and white baby pictures sitting in silver frames on the glass shelf.

Aside from my hair curling loosely in little ringlets, it almost appears that the same child is shown in both images. Except the truth is, one little girl is me and the other is my mother.

Even from a young age, we’ve always been incredibly similar. First it was externally, but as I’ve grown older I’ve discovered that in many ways, I am my mother’s daughter.

It wasn’t until I moved twelve hours away for college that I began to see just how eerily similar we are. In the middle of a normal day, I would hear a string of words come out of my mouth and my hand would fly up - completely of its own accord - as I realized I sounded just like my mom.

Apparently, after eighteen years I had picked up on a thing or two.

A couple months before my twenty-third birthday, I began writing a spiritual memoir of sorts. Trust me, this was never in the plan and is all God’s doing. I’ve wrestled with countless questions, so it made sense to begin there — in the wondering and wandering, doubting and discovering.

These are the words that begin Chapter One, titled Questions & Answers, in my book Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between:

“I am the spitting image of my mother.

There’s no doubt about it, I am hers. This is not something I question. She is my mom, my friend, and my hero. I get my stubborn streak, my wide feet, and my thick brown hair from her. Unfortunately she didn’t pass down her voice, although her love for music and singing found its way into my bones. She did, however, always encourage me to dream big.

As I grew up, my childhood dreams began to change ever so slowly. While I didn’t question my relationship with my mother, I began to question many things about the world around me.

At the same time, I began to dream big dreams that would take me on my own path, away from my mom and all that was familiar. Dreams that would push me to doubt and wonder, only to discover that the answer I was searching for was there all along.”

I wrote those words with tears in my eyes, and so it wasn’t a surprise that when my editor said, “So, about the way you begin chapter one…” I cut her off mid-sentence and said, “I’m not changing that and I will fight you on it. It must begin this way.”

No, what took me by complete surprise was her soft reply, “I know. I know you won’t. It’s just right.”

For reasons I still don’t fully understand, my story simply had to start with those words. I am my mother’s daughter and every day I find myself becoming more and more like her. Please don’t misunderstand me; it hasn’t always been easy. In fact, we’re so similar that a little space often does us well. But I still circle back to that first sentence and the pictures sitting in the silver frames - I am the spitting image of my mother.

And so I keep on dreaming, even when it takes me away from what is familiar. And she keeps on supporting and encouraging me. And I keep on finding that every question I ask or doubt I voice finds its answer in Jesus. Every time I’m twelve hours from the place and the mother that raised me, He proves to be just what I’m looking for.

“I believe that even with all our questions and uncertainties and doubts we don’t know how to put words to, we’ll find there is a certainty and an assurance of who He is. He never promised to answer all our questions, but He promised to be the Answer to every question we’ll ever face.

Sometimes we get so caught up in figuring out the future that we can’t focus in the present. There’s a time and a place for planning, but if we miss today then what’s the point in worrying about tomorrow? Time spent worrying today is time taken away from praying for the very things that cause us to worry. And there’s no room for worrying when you’re busy worshipping.

We can’t plan for how God is going to move or work in our lives, but we can plan on Him doing so. We can raise our hands instead of making our plans and to-do lists for tomorrow. We can consciously choose not to question Him, but to speak our questions in His presence.

He is working in each season, even when the world is noisy and there are no answers written in the sky. That still, small voice is present and active. We are more than conquerors in Christ, through Christ, and with Christ. Even when we are conquerors with questions.

It’s okay to question, but just remember you already have the Answer.”

Portions of this post are excerpted from Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between. The “Brave Enough” print is a free download {one of many!} for blog subscribers.

Kaitlyn Bouchillon is an author and blogger who believes every person is a walking story and every story matters. She loves writing - blogs, books, and handwritten letters - is addicted to queso, and is crazy about her people. She currently splits her time between Starbucks and her cute little apartment in Birmingham, Alabama.