“Aren’t you tired?” She asked over pizza while our kids giggled around us in the booth. “I, mean, you’re a mom and you have a busy life and you have so much on your plate.”
I think about her question and stifle a yawn before I answer.
“Yes. I am.”
I thought about my hectic day of carlines and deadlines…you know, the mother’s routine-all the hurry, so we can wait. I remembered the early morning wardrobe drama and the tears over a lost library book and then the very full day across town serving refugee women in my city.
After a long pause, I answered, “But I don’t want to live any other way. I spent the first 30 –something years of my life wavering between boredom and chasing the American Dream. I’m done with that kind of life. I’m really living now.”
If I had to name a regret in my life—it would be this: That I didn’t discover the breathtaking beauty of saying yes to whatever God told me- sooner.
I know I don’t have to make up for lost time, I just can’t help but empty myself everyday. Get with God to be get filled up, so I can do it again tomorrow.
Because I’ve learned that finding peace and being filled with purpose has little to do with self help books, yoga or taking care of myself. I’m filled up when I’m emptying myself.
And sometimes in this mothering journey-fixing ponytails and riding the roller coaster or teenager emotions-I feel lost. Am I doing this right? Does she need more grace or more discipline? But I keep saying yes to my mess. Yes to the mundane. Yes to whatever He tells me.
Because saying yes is how we find our purpose and live in our life to the fullest:
1. Give every day all you’ve got—love others extravagantly, live without regret, do whatever God tells you-empty yourself.
2. Ask God to fill you up, renew and strengthen and revive your spirit, your weariness, so that you can continue to run the race hard.
3. Repeat
It’s crazy to think that in emptying ourselves we find fullness and peace. But it’s the truth in this upside down Kingdom.
We must lose ourselves to find our way.
We were destined to say yes.
Today, my yes to God, my story, Rhinestone Jesus: Saying Yes to God When Safe Sparkly Faith is No Longer Enough, releases to the world. It’s the broken-put-back-together chapters of my life. It’s raw and real and it’s written to remind you that your small yes matters and encourage you to boldly say it right where you are.
Mothers of Daughters is excited to be giving away 2 copies of Kristen’s amazing new book, Rhinestone Jesus. Leave a comment and tell us how you are saying #yesinmymess. We will choose two winners Sunday May 4 and contact winners by email.
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HI! I’m Kristen. I’m here to encourage you as a wife and mom and remind you there’s a little bit of THAT family in all of us. I write books, run Mercy House and try to remember I am third (God first, others second). Find me here: Blog: We are THAT family and our Non-Profit: Mercy House
13 Comments
I don’t know if I’m saying yes, but I’m trying to!
Right now, saying #yesinmymess is hard. I guess it always is, but I live with bipolar disorder which is making life really hard right now, but I press on, loving my three girls enough to say no to death, loving them enough to try and come out of my internal struggle to love and connect, loving them enough to press forward with the fun and challenges of homeschooling, by loving my girls and my husband.
I’m trying to say “yes” while raising my boys (both on the Autism spectrum)while trying to cultivate, in them, a love for Jesus.
My “yes” is supporting my husband as he serves with a non-profit, while raising my three little girls in another culture. It is choosing to embrace the mundane, along with the crazy adventures of being a wife and a mom.
So. Homeschooling 3 kids, with a toddler. End of the school year. Hard to stay motivated. Potential opportunity on the horizon to lead a mothering mentor group(s) in our church. Hubby asked to consider becoming an elder. Feeling totally inadequate. But walking forward, one small step at a time, in faith!
I love this! Such an important encouragement. My “yes mess” is a little backwards, in that I’m seeking to slow down, to listen for the specific leadings of God, rather than saying “yes” to anything that comes along. I want God to be in it and leading it!
Saying yes in my mess while living abroad (in China) with my 2 daughters and dear hubby looks different than I ever thought it would but I’m grateful for my mess and for people like Kristen who are brave enough to share their stories and encourage us other moms.
My “yes” is supporting my husband through the many physical and emotional difficulties that he has experienced since returning from fighting for our country.
Bringing out the paints when my girls want to get creative.
Saying yes by seeking him daily, even when he seems hard to find (I know HE has not moved!) Homeschooling high school this year, and I will not proceed without Him!
I was reminded of something someone once said while reading this: Either you crucify your flesh daily or you crucify Jesus daily. I choose to crucify my flesh and say yes to what God calls me to do rather than crucify Him. He has called me to say yes to mothering when I don’t feel like getting out of bed in the mornings. He has called me to say yes to move north when my southern blood screams I need warmth. He has called me to utilize my Bachelor of Science in Education degree in Early Childhood to homeschool my lovely daughters rather than in a third grade classroom. He has called me to get on my hands and knees and scrub my kitchen floor rather than stand at podiums and encourage fellow educators. And this is just a small sample of saying yes. Some of these things are easier to do than others. But all require sacrifice. I’m not perfect. But I want to be pleasing to Him. Thankfully He always looks beyond my mess and says, “Yes, you belong to Me. Mess and all.”
I’m learning to say “yes to mess” by learning that mess is not always bad, and what I mean is what is more important, your child who may need you or the mess at that moment.
I am trying to say yes in this everyday mess. Some days are harder than others, but this perspective has me thinking it could be easier. Thank you for your words