“If you ever start working, we can update your information?”
Ever start working? I (Ruth) could barely believe my ears, let alone hold my tongue! I had stopped by the bank to make a deposit and update our personal information. Things were going great until the teller asked me for my place of employment. I always struggle when asked that question.
I run and oversee my own large ministry website.
I am a blogger.
I am a speaker.
I write books.
But … I am also a mom.
So sometimes I say I own my own business, sometimes I say I’m a stay-at-home mom, and other times I call myself a “homemaker.” This particular time I said “homemaker.” This really threw the young twenty-something teller for a loop!
“Is that all you do?” she asked, a bit confused. And then to clarify, she continued, “Okay, so you are just a stay-at-home mom?”
Trying to avoid an unnecessary war of words and so caught off guard I didn’t know what else to say, I responded with a simple, “Yes, I am a mom.”
Now I don’t think she meant any ill will toward me in particular, or motherhood in general. I really think she was just clearly stating what most of culture views a mom to be. “Less than” or “just” something that fell short of a different life call.
One of the struggles many women face when they have children is the feeling of “missing out” on other things. Maybe it is delaying a career choice, educational pursuit, or personal aspiration. Maybe, put another way, a myth that many moms fall into believing is that being a mom is somehow “less than” other pursuits. This can easily leave us moms feeling discouraged, frustrated, or even resentful if we aren’t careful to keep our emotions in check.
God has set apart the home as his. Home is a place where his presence is to be felt and his purposes are to be pursued. He places parents in those homes as watchmen, pastors, priests, shepherds, teachers, and warriors who have been called and commissioned to pass on their faith to their children for the sake of the world. Motherhood is not an easy mission. But it is God’s.
Your identity doesn’t begin with being a mom. As much as God loves and delights in the calling of motherhood, your role as mom is not your core identity. It is certainly part of who you are and what you do, but it is not your primary identity.
The Bible makes it clear that we are “in Christ” before we are “in motherhood.” First and foremost, we are daughters of God our Father. The apostle John celebrates this fact: “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1).
So our primary identity is as a child of God, not a mom.
Friends, we have the best “job” in the world, and we must not underestimate the calling on our lives just because what we do often goes unnoticed. Friends, family members and bank tellers will never see what we do as “just moms.” Only God sees. We are not “just moms” as we are not “just children of God.”
We are valued. He watches everything we do. We are not missing out. We are blessed abundantly in Christ.
If we ever do start a different job, they can update our information to say not “just” anything- we are Daughters of the King!
Believing we are “just a mom” is only one of the many myths that we believe in motherhood.
My good friend Karen Ehman and I are absolutely thrilled to share a resource that we believe is a game-changer for moms: Hoodwinked: Ten Myths Moms Believe & Why We All Need to Knock It Off!
We have had ENOUGH of the misconceptions of motherhood!!!
Myths such as: “The way I mother is the right (and only) way,” “Motherhood is natural, easy, and instinctive,” or “My child’s bad choice means I’m a bad mom.” These myths leave moms hoodwinked and sometimes even heartbroken.
In our straightforward yet encouraging “we’ve been there” style, we enable mothers to
-identify the ten myths of motherhood
-replace the lies with the truth of what God says
-forge healthy, supportive relationships with other moms of all ages and stages
-confidently embrace the calling of motherhood as they care for their families in their own unique way
Ultimately, Hoodwinked equips mothers to stop searching for the secret and develop and embrace their relationships instead- with their kids, other mothers, and most importantly, with God.
You can grab your copy of Hoodwinked today HERE:
Today I am giving away a copy of this wonderful book. Just leave a comment below with a myth of motherhood you easily fall into. Winner will be chosen at random and contacted by email.
About the authors:
Karen Ehman is a New York Times bestselling author and speaker with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She has written eight books including Keep It Shut and LET. IT. GO. Married to her college sweetheart, Todd, and mom of three, she enjoys cheering for the Detroit Tigets and feeding the many teens who gather around her kitchen island for a taste of Mama Karen’s cooking.
Ruth Schwenk is the creator of TheBetterMom.com, and along with her husband, Patrick, FortheFamily.org. She is a pastor’s wife with four energetic kids, a lover of coffee, and dreamer of big dreams. A graduate of the Moody Bible Institute, Ruth and her husband have been in full- time ministry for over fifteen years.