Knowing and understanding how our girls tick is perhaps one of the most important things we can do as parents. When we understand who these souls were created to be, then we are able to speak directly into their lives in a way that really has a lasting impact. While this list is certainly not an exhaustive one, here are some of the areas we might want to pay attention to as we learn the unique ways God has designed our girls.
Is your daughter an extrovert or an introvert? Does she love the tiny little details and struggle to see the big picture or is she a free spirit who loves possibility and change? Understanding what drains your child and what gives her energy will help you to better make decisions about how she spends her time. Understanding the way they need their lives structured will help you to better prepare them for the real world. Studying under which circumstances they thrive or crumble will help you to equip them more effectively for what life throws at them.
Their Learning Style
Some kids learn by hearing, some by seeing and some by doing. Understanding the way in which your daughter learns will save you countless of hours of frustration, and her countless ours of feeling like a failure. Knowing how your daughter learns takes a little bit of experimenting, but once you figure it out, you will be able to teach her so much more effectively.
Their Love Language
Does your daughter love gifts? Words of affirmation or quality time? This is so, so important for us to know how to love our girls well. While I am a firm believer that everyone needs a little bit of all of the love languages, there are definitely things that speak love louder to some than to others. Understanding how your girls receive and give love, will enable you to love them in a way that they best understand. It will also help you to receive their love with graciousness as they give it to you.
Their Talents and Gifts
Knowing what your daughters are good at, and how God has gifted them if they are believers, is critical. God does not give gifts and abilities for no reason. He gives them so that they will be used. As mom’s we need to be on the lookout for those gifts and talents, and speak in life giving ways to our girls regarding those things. At the same time, we need to teach them that with those things come with the responsibility to work hard and to use them for God’s glory.
Their Stress Threshold
Knowing the point at which stress pushes your daughter to achieve more vs. when it pushes her to her breaking point, will likely save you both from all kinds of breakdowns. Studying with a healthy pressure, and safe stress level produces lots of learning. However, stress that overwhelms our girls makes learning and growing impossible. As moms, we need to be on the lookout for what might be pushing our girls over the edge so that we can help them learn to step back and take a breather.
Being a student of our girls and their thoughts and inner workings takes time, observation and feels like a never ending pursuit. However, having insight into who God has made them, really helps us to be a part of wisely molding them into the young women God has designed them to be. Without that insight, we risk pushing them towards our own strengths, personalities, desires and gifts. With that information we can wisely guide our girls towards the young woman God is growing them into.