Mistakes, I’ve made a few. Regrets, I’ve got some of those, too.
Sometimes our greatest intentions end up backfiring, and I was reminded of one of those moments recently. My 22-year-old daughter was laughing over dinner with my husband and me about the time we had the “sex talk.” She said “the time,” singular, because she’s just certain that we talked about sex only once in her lifetime.
In second grade.
*Insert me pounding my head against the wall here.*
Yep. I talked about sex with my second grader. Now, before you tell me that that’s not so bad, I’ll have to stop you and tell you it was.
I told her too much too early.
And then I didn’t say much at all.
I wanted to be the mom who talked to her daughters about everything, even sex, but to be honest, when it might have been appropriate to bring up the topic, I found actually talking about it a little uncomfortable. Despite what my daughter might tell you, I did talk to my girls about sex beyond the initial conversation.
I just wish it had been easier.
Can you relate? Enter Vicki Courtney’s 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter. Conversation 3—“Sex is Great and Worth the Wait”—is just the one that might make some of us a little sweaty-palmed, with a giggle in our throat or a pit in our stomach. If that’s you, you need this book.
Vickie begins this section by contrasting “What the Culture is Not Telling Your Daughter about Sex” (chapter 9) with what we as Christian parents can do to counter our culture in a chapter titled “A New and Improved Sex Talk” (chapter 12). In this section she also shares her own very personal story of abortion—one so poignant yet carefully written that it made me tear up for all the young women who have experienced this tragedy.
Vickie speaks about some of the most important, personal, significant topics to our daughters in such a real way. She speaks honestly about teen pregnancy and the sad reality that Christian kids are having sex too.
What’s a Christian parent to do? you might wonder.
As Vickie encourages us, we can talk. And talk. And talk some more.
But if you’re anything like me, and you find that talk a little uncomfortable, Vickie gives some help and some encouragement. She even lists out what is appropriate to talk about at various stages of a child’s development. What could be more practical than that?
How I wish I had had this kind of encouragement and guidance when my daughters were growing up. It’s not too late, though. As Vickie Courtney reminds us, “The best sex-ed teacher your daughter will have is YOU.” This book was a good reminder to keep the conversation going, no matter how difficult or uncomfortable it may be.
So, dear daughters of mine, look out! We’ll be talking!