Somehow it came up on our ride home from the Super Bowl party.  The day I stormed out of our apartment many years ago.

You have to understand that my husband and I married fresh out of college with only dreams and no professional income to our name.  We moved into a one bedroom one bathroom apartment that left us lots of opportunity to bond because space wasn’t a luxury we reveled in.

I can’t even tell you what had me a hot mess that day because we couldn’t remember.  What I can tell you is that my options in those days for alone time were limited to locking myself in the bathroom, the bedroom, or getting out of the apartment into the wide outdoors.

The last was my option of choice.

Much to my chagrin, it wasn’t mine alone.  My hubby followed me and my quickly moving legs right down onto the streets.

“Melissa, would you slow down?  You are walking insanely fast.”

“That’s fine.  You weren’t invited on this walk.”

I know. The Proverbs 31 wife is rolling over in her grave. 

“Well they told us in pre-marriage class not to let each other stay upset so I’m not going to let you go.”

He couldn’t see my eye roll but he could hear my huff.

What I can only imagine was laughter from my ridiculousness melted the wall around my heart and stopped me in my tracks.  Dang that adorable laugh.  It gets me every time.  Contagious.  And, as my own laughter fell into harmony with his, I reached for his out stretched hand ready to do life together.

Don’t let them in. Don’t let them see. Be the good girl you always have to be.

Disney’s Frozen “Let it Go” plays on repeat in our home these days.  My girls, right down to the two year old, are obsessed with Elsa, Anna, and Olaf.  I kind of am too because for the first time Disney got love right.  Not just romantic love but communal love.

Because I don’t like spoilers, I’m not going to ruin the movie plot for those of you who haven’t seen it {but when you get done reading this GET. IN. THE. CAR. AND. GO!} other than to say Elsa contains the power to turn everything into ice.  At one point, Anna seeks out Elsa in her ice castle and beckons her into relationship and, when together, Elsa discovers her love can thaw what is frozen.

The theological dork in me loves this.  The piece of me that tends to emotionally flee feels schooled by a kids movie.

Many people would be surprised to know that in introvert/extravert testing I essentially break even.  The extravert column had one more point, enough to call me extraverted by technicality but not really in livability.  I’m a leader, a listener, an organizer, a friend, and a goof-ball that will have fun with and in front of others.  But, I also have a tendency to retreat.  To hide in my own man made spaces.  And, when it is for the sake of a little mama-needed silence, it is okay.  When it is for the sake of reflection it can nurture.  But, when it is to isolate myself from truths about me and my story it is an empty form of freedom that limits my ability to live a satisfying life.  

I want to be the good girl.  The one with the spiritual maturity of Beth Moore, the calm and kindness of Mother Teresa, and the confidence of Richard Sherman – minus the ‘tude.  I want to have it all together.

And I’m fairly confident I’m not alone.

So how then do we live when the insecure, messy, painful, tough, not-so-pretty parts of our lives surface and bring out cold hurt in our hearts?  When we need rescuing from ourselves?

We quit running…or speed walking…away and let someone we love and trust take us by the hand.

A family member.  A friend.  Someone in the church.

Because shutting people out only builds a chasm that drives the lone-hearted into despair and all who love them frustrated mad.

What my husband knew and Frozen reminds is that we cannot be our best alone.  Love walks hand in hand through the ice storms of life and no matter how cold our existence feels, the world warms.  It becomes livable again.  Both our perspective of the world around us and our experience in it. 

God made Adam a helper because He knew it was not good for man to be alone.  So too He places Christ-centered helpers around you and I.  People that we can share our raw selves with.  People we can love and freely let love us in return.  People that will help us see that that which we feel is a curse over our lives could actually be used to redeem a story.

Today I’m especially grateful for my people.

Listen for the Lord, friends.  Let these God-placed helpers in.  Be honest. Allow yourself to be rescued and be part of God’s plan to rescue another.

Life and love live best in community.