Pony tails and nail polish turn into pinterest braids and makeup, and the emotions that tread on a mama’s heart while raising daughters have a hard time keeping up with those changes.

And while we invest time and effort into raising maiden’s of virtue, the honest truth is that we sometimes feel like we cannot do any thing right.

Countless nights awake in bed praying for my sweet girls to grow into sensitive, caring and inwardly beautiful women has been my prayer.

Endless conversations about modesty and makeup, picture taking and good choices have met me in the dawn of many mornings.

And in the middle of ballet tutu’s to wedding gowns, I often felt like the enemy. Always having to give the last thought or opinion. Asking them to perhaps choose another outfit or to work on an attitude that might not be sitting right.

But, one thing God has thankfully shown me about raising daughters, is that we are to respect one another in kindness and opinion even when we may be 100% right.

Your job is hard mama. You are the parent and that comes with steering your girls in the right direction.

But earning respect is not a given. We must shower them with a grace that defines beauty, so that in the end, this is what they copy, and what they remember.

Because respect is the strongest when truth is given with grace and opinions are just that. Opinions.

When the toddler is whining and you worry what this will be like when she is a teenager?

Speak in hushed tones, bent low, and telling her she can control her voice to sound like mama’s.

Speak kindness. They will hear you every time.

So, when we are up against a wall about one of their decisions?

Show kindness in your tone.

The moments they are wearing too much make-up or need to change their outfit?

Approach them with understanding. You have been there once before as well. Tell them that.

Give them options rather than dictating the confines of your own preferences.

A child given the respect to make healthy choices with perimeters will grow to respect others with a kindness shown to them. No one likes a dictator.

And when you feel as if all of the kindness in parenting could be mustered and you are flat out of ideas, ask yourself,

How would I want to be spoken to?

Will my tone or my approach really matter?

Offering kindness or respect to our children is often forgotten because we are teaching, training and get caught up in the every day life of being a mom.

Little girls remember their mother’s love more than her rules.

Let’s return the same kindness back to our daughters and see how their response turns us from the enemy into the confidant.