I am homeschooling this year. My oldest is only in Pre-K, so this is not a life-altering decision BUT it does alter our right now life considerably. Last year she attended two day a week Pre-K at our church. She thrived there. This is not about her not doing well in school.
This is about my being intentional to bring our family back home. This about getting to know my little girl who is growing and changing and becoming more of her own person every day. This is about trusting God’s quiet nudges and It’s going to be fine in the face of my This is a terrible idea.
Y’all, I have wrestled. I am still wrestling with this decision because I am genuinely afraid that I might lose my mind. Or break her spirit. Or both. Last year, I relished those two days that she was gone – relished them! The simple absence of constant chatter was exactly the break my fragile psyche needed to get from one week to the next.
God is steering us toward simplicity, and as I reflect upon how quickly it all races by, I am inclined to let go of my need for calm and dive right into the depths of chaos – if it means that I might know her more and steer her better; if it means that our family’s world feels more steady.
I have been vigorously creating lesson plans, ordering books, and gathering ideas. We moved the family room redo up to top priority so we could make a space for little girl learning fun that is inviting.
I am talking.it.up to my four year old because she is mildly disappointed that she’s not going to school with her friends. I am accepting that sometimes I do the thing that is right for her even though it disappoints her.
I am eager to lean into the space where she learns and experience the magic and wonder of knowledge
I am letting go of my “me” space – recognizing that in this season there isn’t a lot of room for extras. I am examining what it looks like to bring people into our home rather than meet them at the mall – and in doing so, what it looks like to teach my girls to be gracious hostesses.
I am moving past dreaming and into planning for a reality of fresh veggies and eggs – from our backyard.
I am looking at this in a big picture, holistic simplicity sort of way, and I am top-of-the-roller-coaster, deliciously scared – the kind that might make you throw up but it so worth it in the end.
What does this school year have you deliciously scared about?!
*top image: flickr photo credit: hankinsphoto