I sat at my kitchen table with my head buried deep in the palms of my hands. What started out as a fun, relaxed evening with my girls had quickly turned into a bitter and chaotic situation. Dinner was ruined. I was alone. And I was exhausted.
There was noise all around me. Whispers mixed with timid giggles, footsteps scurrying across the kitchen floor and a few loud, hard thumps down the stairs.
I knew we needed to talk.
I silently cried, “Lord. Help me. I need Wisdom.”
“But Lord she was wrong.”
“But I need to teach her not to behave this way.”
I have a 10-year old daughter. And with that comes a load of unexplainable emotional waves—highs and lows. Lots of laughs, intriguing conversations, tender moments and mood swings.
I am a 34-year old mother. And with that comes a load of unexplainable emotional waves—highs and lows. Lots of laughs, intriguing conversations, tender moments and mood swings.
At times, when the array of our emotions blend together, right and wrong can become irrelevant. This particular evening was one of those times. I needed to talk to her. I needed to fix it.
Let me explain.
My husband was traveling and I was determined to make the dinner experience fun and relaxed for my girls. We started off great! However, within a split second the conversations shifted and suddenly the tension at my kitchen table was high. Her, the oldest of 4 girls, mood swung in the wrong direction and I reacted—responding back with anger, stress and frustration.
I needed to apologize. Not because I needed to excuse her actions, but because I needed to repent for my own.
One of the most impactful things you can do while mothering a tween girl is to model what it looks like to be a mature Christ-filled women.
I am not exactly sure what my 10 year old and her sisters would say that they saw that evening, but I am positive it was not a mature Christ-filled woman.
I was wrong.
Humility. Self-control. Gentleness. Love. Wisdom.
They need to hear it. They need to see it.
This evening was my chance. I sought God for wisdom, expecting the perfect words to say in order to teach and fix my child. In return He used the opportunity to teach His. Me.
That evening I sat my daughter down. We talked. I apologized. She forgave.
Friends, I encourage you to model Christ to your families. If you are like me, riding the waves of girlhood, I’d like to encourage you to always seek Him before talking to her. Having His perspective will change the conversation and impact the situation.
When things are tense and emotions are high here are 3 Scripture to remember before talking to your girls:
1. Seek Wisdom-
James 1:5 (NASB)
5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
2. Model Jesus-
Philippians 2:3-5 (NASB)
3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,
3. Approach Carefully-
Proverbs 15:1 (NASB)
A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.